Testing My Patience

Ahh, the Two Week Wait. Also known as the TWW or 2WW. I really need to write a list of all the IVF anagrams that’s around, because they drive me up the wall and if you ever see them and have no idea what a BFP or MFI is then you’re just going to be as baffled as I was when I started out on this journey! 

Anyway, I digress. So, in terms of a fresh round of IVF, ICSI, IUI, or even just naturally trying for a baby there is a 14-day window of time post-ovulation in which we ladies experience the slowest time of our lives – the Two Week Wait. This is called the luteal phase, so when the body has released an egg, it hopefully becomes fertilised, and then gets all cosy in your lining ready to make it a home for the next 9 months. If fertilisation does not occur, your lining sheds – your period arrives – and the next new cycle begins. Most women have a 28-day cycle, meaning that they usually ovulate about halfway through this – Day 14 – and then begin their next cycle around the 28th day... hence “the Two Week Wait”. We literally wait around for a fortnight to see if we got pregnant, or if our darling period decides to make an appearance. And for anyone trying to conceive, it’s the most agonising wait of all!  

Now, of course, it’s important to note that this Two Week Wait rule differs from woman to woman. Not every woman has a 28-day cycle, and some have long or short luteal phases. Some women ovulate before or after Day 14, so of course not every woman is following this calendar to the fertility bible.  

Ollie kept me and my goodies company for two weeks!

So, what do we do with our time in this period? For assisted conception, a lot of women tend to take this time off work, as it’s crucial for implantation that they be as relaxed and stress-free as possible. Some women can’t bear the thought of two weeks cooped up on the sofa, so they go back to work for a distraction. I’ve got a great group of girls around me, and a few of them each bought me a selection of care packages to get me through those weeks – magazines, chocolate, face masks – they were gold dust to me! Obviously, I also binged on Netflix and baby-related DVDs (why, oh why, do I put myself through What to Expect When You’re Expecting and The Backup Plan when I’m at my most vulnerable?!). My cat Ollie was also by my side every single day – I definitely think he knew something was up and needed to protect me! 

It’s strange to think that by this point in our first round of IVF, I had already experienced 25 agonising cycles of the Two Week Wait since trying to conceive a baby. Luckily – unluckily?! - I’ve never been one of those women who pee on a stick days before their period is due, therefore probably saving me hundreds of pounds! Nah, my dear old period likes to arrive to the party early, hang around for a bit, maybe slink off for a day or two and then come back in full force with a vengeance.  

As it turns out, I’m typing this and I really can’t remember all that much about the first round of IVF and the Two Week Wait. I finished watching the entire series of Desperate Housewives for the third time, and met my best friend for coffee one day, but otherwise all we can do is wait. 

And then we test.  

Our clinic recommends that we test 14 days past embryo transfer (14DP5DT, in my case!). Others test 9 days past, 12 days past... which is a complete mind fuck and by the time I got to Day 10 I was going out of my mind with worry, tearfully demanding to my husband that we go straight to Asda because that’s the only supermarket open who stocks First Response Early Response pregnancy tests, and they’re the best ones to use! They detect even the teensiest traces of Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin (HCG) levels in your pee, which is what occurs in pregnancy.  

Most things you read will tell you to test with your First Morning Urine (FMU) as that has the most concentrated levels of HCG in it. So, come the next morning, I was ready and waiting with my tests. I had also bought a Clearblue Digital test, as I didn’t want to spend the next few minutes squinting at some lines to see if they “really were there” or not – just tell it to me straight! 

It was positive. 

There, clear as daylight, the words “1-2 Weeks Pregnant” were staring back at me on the little window. I completely fell apart sobbing (trust me, there’s a video that goes with this!) and J just held me, laughing with relief!  

On my 26th cycle - June 2018 - I was finally pregnant! 

KEB x

Let Them (everyone but the newlyweds) Eat Cake

Ugghh. I’ve been putting off this post. For most brides, this shouldn’t be a problem area. What’s not to love about cake-tasting and drooling over frosting and fillings?! But for the girl who almost made the big (small) time in the world of cake connoisseurs... this was the part I was dreading.  

The funny thing is, when you start planning a wedding, most people want to get the deets on The Dress. But for me, it was The Cake. “Who’s making your cake? Oh, YOU are?!” Everyone said I was crazy for wanting to do it myself. And indeed, I was. But who else could I trust to envision what I had in mind? Nuh uh, this one was my baby.  

Because I knew the spotlight was going to be on The Cake, I decided to make not one, not two, but THREE cakes that all had varying designs I was dying to test out. Yes, I said test. On my wedding cake. Rule #1, do not TEST anything for your wedding day – do it before! You wouldn’t hire a make-up artist without having a run-through before, would you?! What a div I was.  

Anyway, I spent hours poring over cake magazines, Pinterest, and wedding blogs trying to pin down the ultimate cake designs that would complement everything about my wedding. But in particular, I wanted it to be a nod to my dress. My most-favourite-ever cake maker Mich Turner released a book called ‘Cake Couture,’ where she literally designed cakes, cookies and cupcakes inspired by wedding dresses and jewellery. I even met her at a cake exhibition (yes, they exist), and she signed my book, telling me that it was obviously well-used! (By this, she meant it was a bloody state – covered in chocolate smudges and other sticky substances!). I was so proud. 

Sorry, I’m digressing. I don’t need to tell you exactly what designs I used etc., you can see for yourself in the photos. However, I ended up turning my vision into a dessert table and set aside time and ingredients for other baked goods to grace the cake table, too. It was going to be a sponge like no other! This is a good way to go if you’d like to save money somewhere on the food. Liaise with your reception venue, and perhaps you could serve cake as your dessert, meaning you only have to fork out for two courses (not that you have to have a sit-down meal, of course!). Be careful though – some venues have cottoned on to this, and may actually charge you a “cake-corkage” - yes, really!! 

Note to self: Never again.

Another popular option is to host your own Bake Off style competition – put the word out that you’d like your very best cake-makers to step forward and present a cake to be served at your wedding! You’d be surprised at the lengths some people will go to in order to impress other guests, and they could make it as their wedding present to you, too.  

Cakes can be as expensive or as cheap as you’d like them to be. I would highly recommend a tasting session, as some pieces of artwork can look amazing but taste like cardboard. If you can’t afford a reliable baker in your town, look at places like M&S – they stock some absolutely gorgeous (and tasty) cakes for a very reasonable cost! Otherwise, naked cakes are also extremely on trend, and extremely cheap, too. Naked sponges decorated with fresh flowers you can pick up in the supermarket alongside your flour, butter, sugar and eggs are adorably stunning.  

However, what I will say and suggest you take notice, is not to make your own wedding cake. This is one part of the wedding day process that for as much planning and preparation as you can do, you can’t do anything about until a couple days before your wedding. And you DO NOT want to be stuck in some hot and stuffy kitchen 36 hours before your vows, crying on the floor because the buttercream is melting off the cake. Or because your brother decided that the box carrying the main tier of your masterpiece was a good place to dump his laundry on top of (yep, he did that).  

Suffice to say, it did not go well. I smushed one side of the main cake in the car on the way to the venue, and then found out that the reception staff had smushed the other side of the cake when they were storing it overnight. In a fridge. Who stores sponge cake in a fridge?! Hello?! Can you say “dry cake??” I never had time for the other bits and pieces I’d intended to bake as part of the dessert table, so I recruited my bridesmaids as flapjack and rice-cripsie treat bakers. Thank god they were able to help the day before, I wouldn’t have known what to do without them! 

In a final nail to the proverbial cake coffin, our venue also threw away about a third of our wedding cake after our evening reception. J and I hadn’t even had so much as a lick of buttercream, let alone a slice of each cake, and when I returned the next day to pick up the rest of the cake, it was gone. Apparently, someone thought it was a good idea to throw away the bride’s masterpiece. I was devastated. I created three cakes, comprising of four different flavour tiers, a batch of white chocolate and raspberry cupcakes, plus all the other treats... and I didn’t get one bloody crumb of it. 

If all else fails on the cake front, just go with Colin the Caterpillar. Everyone loves Colin.

KEB x