Something's Wrong...

After about 8 months of trying, I couldn’t shake a feeling of helplessness and decided enough was enough. I took myself off to the doctors, where my GP advised that if I’m really that worried about things then I need to come back after a year of trying with no luck. In amongst all of this, for some weird reason, I would start to spot for around 5-10 days before my period would show up. I’m adamant I must have a LP deficiency (Luteal Phase – the time between ovulation and your period starting again), however with all the tests that have been carried out at the doctor’s and hospital – no one agrees with me!? However, my GP did say that if I didn’t want to wait, then come back after 10 months. This is because with all the tests that they would need a couple to do, and waiting for results, then by the time they all come back then it would be over the year-mark. Which is exactly what we did! 

In amidst the constant doctors appointment and tests, we still made time for Date Night!

I was ordered to have a blood test done to determine my AMH (Anti-Mullerian Hormone) levels – my ovarian reserve. BUT this would need to be done on the third week of my cycle. Throw in the spotting, and my blood test got pushed back and back again – they wouldn’t test me if I was bleeding at all. Fantastic. Eventually my results came back, and according to them my level is 31. I don’t know how my CCG (Clinical Commissioning Group) measure AMH, but everyone else seems to have a number between 1-5?! However, upon further research, women with elevated AMH levels may border into having Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome – something I’ve always been adamant I believe I have certain traits of. I feel like I’ve been diagnosing myself and no one is listening!!  

Anyway, they also test for other things – such as chlamydia* (thanks hun, I’m sure all those grotty one-night-standers who get knocked up all get tested for the same!) and rubella. My rubella was effectively “out of date,” so I had to get a refresher injection done just to “top me up”! They were also happy that I was ovulating, despite getting mixed reading each month from my OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Kit).  

One of the many bruises I received from multiple blood tests!

J, unfortunately, had to do his part still. Yep, he had to go in a cup. Sounds easy, right?! Nope. It had to be no more than an hour old, and he had to keep it in his pocket to keep it warm, too! Then he had to race it up to the hospital before the hour-mark – and he doesn’t even drive either! Factor in a whole lot of road works that were happening at this time, and an hour was definitely not enough time! The hospital does provide a room for men to go in and do their part, but talk about being put on the spot, knowing what other men have got up to in that room?! And on top of all of this, he had to do two samples, each a month apart, to be able to get a true result from his samples.  

Of course, nothing is ever simple in the world of fertility. The hospital lost one of J’s samples, so he had to do another a month later. I had another set of bloods taken, which again was subsequently misplaced, so then another set taken. I had a call while I was on a hen do in Marbella at the time, and remember I had to have them taken on the third week of my cycle – which I was of course on at the time! I vividly remember breaking down on the phone to them in my hotel room, explaining that I couldn’t give a sample that month as I was away in Spain – meaning that I was yet again pushed back another month to wait for the next available window. I was gutted.  

Can you believe then, that after all of these tests and waiting around – and bear in mind we started testing in March 2017 – that we didn’t get our results back until FIVE MONTHS later at the end of August. And it was not good news.  

All of my results came back normal. “Great!” I hear you say. But still do this day I am convinced that I have mild PCOS symptoms. I’ve always had oily, spotty skin – and I’m at the tail-end of my twenties now, come on!! Despite being quite fair, I have quite dark body hair – another trait of women with PCOS. And whilst I’m by no means overweight, I know that I could be fitter and slimmer, but no matter how hard I pushed myself at the gym and with my diet, I have never been able to shift the pounds! Like at all, I mean. Throw in my weird ovulation results, and oh look! Women with PCOS struggle to ovulate each month. Hmm. Coincidence? I think not.  

It was another story for J unfortunately. Whilst they were really pleased with his sperm count, his morphology (the shape and formation) came back a whoppingly-low rate of only 2-3%. So in other words, about 97% of his swimmers are misshapen, or have a deformed head or tail. The normal morphology rate for men is actually around 14% and up, which doesn’t sound like a lot at all! But obviously this all impacts on how well they swim to meet the egg – and ours were effectively duff. I was so sad for him. But if you know J, you know that nothing bothers him, and his attitude and mentality about this whole journey has been incredibly strong! What a hero.   

With these results, our GP informed us that she would be referring us for assisted conception. Finally, it was the words we were waiting to hear – and we were at the finish line! Or so it seemed... 

We were officially infertile.  

KEB x 

*In case you’re wondering, I was clear of STDs. Obvs.  

Capturing the Day

Our photographer was an easy book, too. My good friend Mrs H is a photographer I met whilst at Uni. We made a pact that one day, when she got married – I would do her wedding cake, which I did. In return, she’d do my wedding photography. I didn’t even look anywhere else, I knew Mrs H would be fabulous and make me look fabulous, too. We snapped her up instantly. (See what I did there..? I’m sorry. The relevance of this quote will become apparent later on…) And of course, mates rates came into play both for the cake and the photography. It’s what friends are for, I guess! (Mrs H is my best customer hands down. I have made her wedding cake, her daughter’s 3rd birthday cake, her other daughter’s christening cake, her cousin’s kid’s christening cakes, her best friend’s baby shower cake, and I’ve just made her sister’s wedding cake – phew!) 

So within three short weeks, we had booked our ceremony and reception venue. The registrar was booked, and our honeymoon deposit had been paid. Our photography was sorted years ago, but we had at least confirmed Mrs H would of course be there. She would, right?? Wrong. 

Me, A and H getting ready on the morning of the wedding!

A happy surprise occurred – she became pregnant! She would be about 8 months gone by the time our wedding rolled around, so of course I said to her she could bow out at any time – hers and the baby’s health was all that mattered! And I knew she would recommend me to an equally fabulous photographer elsewhere. But no – she’s stubborn like me – and so on with the show she went! Devastatingly though, a few months into her pregnancy, complications arose which put the baby in extreme danger. OF COURSE, I didn’t expect her to carry on with our booking – I was worried frantic for her!! But she left me in the hugely capable hands of one of her best friends, Georgina at Panache Photography. She captured some of the most beautiful and artistic shots I couldn’t have dreamed of, and I could see why Mrs H had sent her my way. And in a beautiful turn of events, Mrs H gave birth to the most gorgeous, healthy little girl (who am I kidding, I can’t be biased – all of her children have genes sent from DNA heaven) two days before our big day. I couldn’t have been happier for her! 

J and his lads before the ceremony began - I love how casual this is!

Studying Media since my high school days, I was always in tune with good wedding photography and videography. You know when you log onto someone’s website, and it’s just so shit wonder how on earth they’re supposed to be capturing your big day with a crap online hub? Ugh. So my standards for a videographer were high. Unfortunately, so were their costs.  

I searched high and low for an affordable videographer that would be willing to provide us with a highlight video (perfect for sharing on social media sites!), stay for the best part of the day (from morning prep to the speeches), and was actually pretty good and creative with a camera! Initially, I didn’t want a videographer, but as time went on I realised that actually there would always be parts of our wedding I’d miss while we were off faffing with whatever. Don’t settle! That’s what I keep saying! If you want it – have it! You’re only supposed to do this once, so make the most of it.  

Finally - married! 

I eventually found a videographer recommended by our local newspaper – Life Video Productions. After contacting him and telling him about my quandary, we agreed on a price between us that kept us both happy and in budget/pocket. This is a good thing to do! If you’re honest with your suppliers and are happy to compromise in some way, you’re entitled to a bit of discount. I even bartered with our wedding ceremony venue about our chair covers. They had the most ghastly chairs for the ceremony that looked like they had been pulled out the 17th century, yet would only let us hire chair covers if it was through them. I reasoned that it was out of order that they would charge us the same as a couple who were spending their entire wedding day there, and we were only using them for 20 minutes. We wouldn’t even be spilling food or drink all over them! So they whacked £1.50 off each chair cover. That was a saving of £120 – winner! 

Steve at LVP was amazing. He was so great with his camera that it made our wedding day look like something out of one of my Hollywood films. Unfortunately, we only met on the day – as the day we had arranged to meet up suddenly became busy for him – he became a father that day! Babies were determined to try and stop someone capturing our day, I’m sure! (I can laugh about it now, but back during the week of my wedding I was slightly panicked that no one was going to show!) 

Through bargaining and using mates to help out, we managed to save an awful lot on two things that should have cost us around a grand each. However, we did have to compromise, so see what you’re happy with doing. If you can get a decent photographer, but they’ll only supply the images on a USB stick – I say go for it! Wedding albums can be massively expensive (into the hundreds!!), and with so many websites like Photobox, Snapfish and Vistaprint providing sites to upload your snaps, edit and arrange them into your own album, you can save an absolute fortune! That’s exactly what we did, and our A3 hardback album with over 50 pages of photos printed on high-quality paper cost us around £45! We tailored our video package so that Steve would be present from the bridal prep, right through to the speeches. You may want more, or less, depending on what’s important to you, but I knew that after the speeches it could get rather messy – as in drunk guests, and my make up! So long as they capture you at your best, that’s all that matters. We also managed to get a 5 minute highlight video, and 3 copies of our main video, which had the ceremony and speeches in full, plus other lovely footage.  

KEB x