Engagement and Inspirations

So yes, I found my One. At the tender age of 15, I knew I’d found him. But as previously mentioned, any prospect of getting engaged was off the cards until J managed to pull his finger out and get down on one knee one foggy January day. I waited an agonising 9 years to hear those words, and boy was I ready for them! I know some of you are probably thinking: “You’re too young! 9 years is nothing!” but think of it through my mind – a girl who’s grown up watching wedding films like it’s the daily news, meticulously thinking over and over again how I’d plan my day. Throw in a wedding-themed hobby and it’s a recipe for disaster! 

Signing our wedding contract over a glass of bubbly!

Anyway – our engagement! So what should have been one of the most exciting, memorable and romantic occasions of our lives turned out to be a daily struggle and nightmare. I didn’t make it easy for J already, having given him the high expectations Hollywood has to offer. But I did try to make it easy, I swear! We had got to the turning point in our relationship where the next big thing was upon us – do we buy a house, or do we get married? We are both switched on individuals, and having got into silly student debt a few years ago – both very money savvy. And we couldn’t do both at the same time, unfortunately. So I suggested (after visiting a handful of wedding fairs with my other engaged friends…) that we start to look at both wedding venues and mortgages.  

Weddings won. 

I am quite traditional with some things in life, albeit not all. I would’ve happily jumped on a plane and said “I do” in front of Elvis in Las Vegas if it meant I could just be married. And sure, I would’ve lost that little-girl dream of having the big white wedding. But what I think my friends and family seemed to overlook – no matter how much I agonised over wedding plans and dresses and flowers andbridesmaidsandthesuitsandOHGODTHESUITS – was that I wanted to be married. I wanted J to be my husband; I wanted to affirm our love and commitment to each other with just a few simple words, in front of our closest loved ones. Yes, a big white wedding would’ve been lovely. But hey, it’s just a party. Marriage is where it’s at. And my god, how I want to start a family. Never mind journalism, or cakes – I found my calling very young, and I absolutely adore children. Not to the point that I want a career out of it, I just want my own. So very badly. Growing up and seeing my young cousins growing up, I was fascinated. I loved to play with them, feed them, cuddle them and coo at them. I significantly remember my auntie telling me when I was just a young teenager: “You’re going to be the first one to have kids.” Yeah, I am! (I think… I was the first one married, so we’ll see!).  

Sorry I’m getting off track here. The main point is, I wanted to be married, I want to have kids – I’m just traditional in the sense that I would just like to be married when we start a family. I know it wouldn’t have been the end of the world if we weren’t married, but it just helped complete that perfect ideology I’d had of: growing up, going to university, getting married, buying a house, and having a baby. If we’d bought a house, we would’ve saved for nearly a decade before we could be married and then start trying for a family. That wasn’t an option for us. We decided to get married first, live with my parents (who generously let us live with them rent-free while we saved!) and then buy a house. We are very strong-willed people, and do not like handouts. By the time the wedding actually rolled around, I had to be convinced (kicking and screaming) that we had to let people lend us money to finish paying off the last little bits. As much as we want to make it on our own in life, I’m proud to say that about 90% of the wedding bill was footed by ourselves. 

One of the wedding venues we visited had the same name as the Primary School I attended. Call it intuition, or coincidence, or fate – but I just knew I had to be married there one day, just for that reason. It was a beautiful, old hall located just minutes from my childhood home. J and I visited only one other venue, which was bright, modern and blank. Too blank for us to be able to decorate on a budget and still make it look half decent. Boringdon Hall didn’t need much decoration; it was beautiful on its own. Except… I only liked one room, which was where we had our ceremony. It was a modern chapel-type room – with exposed beams to give it a rustic, barn-like feel. The rest of the venue was very old – suits of armour/tapestry/lead windows type of thing. Not us at all. We enquired, and – controversially – booked a grand wedding venue just for our 20 minute ceremony, only to move onto another location for the food and dancing. One of our favourite restaurants hosted wedding receptions, and after a quick enquiry over dessert one evening – we settled on having our ‘do there… And the prices were ridiculously budget-friendly. Win! 

So now we had to tell our family and friends that we had booked a wedding venue, notified the registrar, and started picking our menu choices… All without the tiny fact that J hadn’t actually proposed. 

KEB x