Put a Ring On It

Okay, so he did eventually propose. 

Every wedding magazine you buy will have a checklist that they think you should follow, and this hasn’t differed much over the years. However, as a 21st century bride, this was our timeline of events: 

Summer 2014 – check out venues/mortgage discussion/bought bridesmaid dresses/started dress hunting for myself 

September 2014 – booked our wedding venue/announced our intention to get married 

October 2014 – booked our wedding reception/honeymoon/bought my dress/hired the photographer 

Autumn/Winter 2014 – went to every imaginable jewellery store to find an engagement ring 

23rd Janury 2015 – our engagement party 

25th January 2015 – J proposed! 

Every person I tell can’t understand how and why we did things the way we did. And you know what? It’s not up to them. Why should society dictate that a proposal should happen this way, and that a man has to propose to the woman? We grow up surrounded by unrealistic versions of wedding proposals, and they just get bigger, weirder, and wackier every year! At the end of the day, J and I had been together for 8 years at this point. We knew one day we were going to get married. He didn’t even ask my dad for permission – dad had got just as fed up as waiting on a proposal as I had, and just told him outright that he had his blessing! So we made a conscious decision that okay, let’s get married. Let’s book it, seal the deal once and for all. I announced it on Facebook to our friends and family by sharing a clip from the Sex and the City movie, where Carrie is casually out to dinner with the gang and just says “we’ve decided to get married.” And that’s exactly what we did! 

The savvy money saver in me told J that he really didn’t have to buy me an engagement ring. Sure, one would’ve been nice. But I reeeeeaaaaally wanted to move out shortly after our wedding, and I just couldn’t justify spending a grand of our savings on something that I didn’t feel was a necessary part of our nuptials. But he was adamant that he still wanted to get me one, and so began the treacherous task that was to find me a ring.  

I’m legit one of the fussiest people you’ll ever know. I know exactly what I want, and exactly what I DON’T want. My hands are TINY, and when I say tiny I mean my ring size is F and a half. When the average size of a woman’s engagement ring is between a K and an N, you’ll see how tiny my fingers are. Which meant our options instantly became EXTREMELY limited, as not many jewellers go that small. Back in the day, when I did envision having an engagement ring, I found a lovely style that had three diamonds set into the middle, with smaller diamonds down the shoulders of the band. When you have baby fingers, the diamonds on the shoulders aren’t an option, as the small size of the band means that the claws to hold the diamonds are weaker and therefore you’re more at risk of losing the stones. I was devastated. I didn’t even want a ring, but here I’m now told that the one I really love I can’t have?! Solitaire rings are classy, but they just aren’t me. I’m not very flashy, and don’t like much jewellery (small studs in my ears and maybe a watch is fine by me!), but there was just something about having a little bit of bling on one finger that really appealed to the magpie in me! 

J and I at our Engagement Party - with a naked ring finger!

After trawling the usual high street stores – H Samuel, Beaverbrooks, Ernest Jones, Fraser Hart in three different cities – we went to one of the oldest jewellers in Plymouth: Drakes. It had recently undergone a refurbishment in Drake Circus shopping mall, and in December of 2014 we went in there quickly after work during late-night Christmas shopping. Their customer service was impeccable, and the store assistants let us browse the cabinets without interruption before coming over to help us with our quandary. After telling them that nothing fits my tiny child fingers, and my taste for something just a bit more sparkly than a solitaire, the assistant pointed us in the direction of two rings that were absolutely gorgeous – both of which they would be able to make in my size. One was the same setting as my mum’s engagement ring, in the shape of a six-petal flower, and the other was a simple solitaire surrounded by a halo of 11 tiny diamonds. There wasn’t much in it for the price difference, so to be able to give J the opportunity to still surprise me, I told him to choose one later when I wasn’t there. He went back the following day to buy one, and they told him it would arrive in time for our engagement party. 

We hosted our engagement party at a local leisure centre where, once again, we saved money due to the fact that it’s part of the hospital where my mum works at, so she was able to pass on her staff discount. We had toyed with having a party at all, as we knew it’d be just an extra expense, but ultimately we decided to use it to be able to catch up with people before our wedding. You also find that it’s a good gauge of who will RSVP to your wedding invites: if they don’t bother showing to the engagement party, they probably won’t come to the wedding! We kept costs down by catering the party ourselves, and I made our engagement cake. We decorated the room with simple helium balloons dotted around the tables and hung up pictures of us instead of tacky banners or bunting. I was over an hour late to the party, and the cake nearly ended up on the floor of my car, but we had a great time! And yet, I still didn’t have my ring… 

Turns out, J had it the whole time, but he didn’t want to propose right there and then in front of all of our friends and family. A proposal – if you’re going to do one – should suit the couple, and we really aren’t the ‘centre of attention’ type of people! So he waited until a couple of days after the party and took me to one of my favourite childhood spots – Jennycliff. It’s a cliff that overlooks all of Plymouth Sound, and my late Grandad used to take me and my cousins up there to walk the dog. It’s a beautiful location, and when J offered to take me there I had a feeling it had something to do with the box-shaped lump poking out of his pocket! 

It's official - at last!

After making our way to a bench overlooking the sea, he told me to stand up. He got down on one knee. I don’t need to tell you exactly what he said, but it was perfect. Just a guy, telling his girl, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. We both got a bit emotional, too – ha! I said yes, the end. Finally, four months after we had booked our wedding, and after 8.5 years together... we were officially engaged!

KEB x